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male bonding

September 15, 2009

I’ve felt I’ve not much understood male bonding, and why so many dudes like to “go hang out with the guys” and many of them would rather do this than go on a date with a woman – at least some of the time.  This has seemed crazy to me.

Never in my life has there been a time when I have not been captivated by women.. or by girls, when I was a boy. My mom caught me looking at the lingerie section of a JC Penny catalog when I was .. 5 years old, I’m guessing. Women have always bewitched me. Can’t help it. I’ve got the personality of a natural lover combined with often massive insecurity issues and in the past also a lot of crippling depression.

I’ve at times just hung out with guys because I wanted to get out of the house, and have been too socially inept and insecure to date. And lately, past few years, the only women I’ve met who I really wanted to date had either boyfriends or husbands, and 3 out of the 4 of them were christians as well.

On most Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I do theater workshop – woodworking, rigging up lights, stuff like that. There are both guys and girls doing theater workshop, but the times I work, it is mostly just guys.

Today I was working on some lights with this really cool dude. We talked about what was once considered “guy stuff” – before women insisted on doing every traditionally male thing. We talked about joining the Navy, the Navy Seals, and karate. We got along great.

It has just occurred to me why straight guys like to hang out with other straight guys. It is because these guys will not mess us up like women do.  Male friends – trustworthy male friends are safe. It’s women who will mess our heads up, tear out our hearts, get us hornier than we can stand, and cause all manner of consternation and even insanity. Even men in good relationships with wonderful women still need a break – all relationships have some drama and unpleasant tension.

So guys hang out with guys, and as long as their male friends are good friends, there’s nothing to worry about, and this is good. I get it now.

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