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women, men, sex, gender roles, childhood, and culture change

October 8, 2010

If there is some sort of deity that made everything, I think that deity (or deities perhaps?) has a powerful (and sometimes sick) sense of humour and a strong sense of irony.

Men – we have evolved to try and spread our seed anywhere and everywhere possible. Some of us are much more discerning than others (and I am one of these) but still, the urge is there!

Women – have the exact opposite urge -they are the child-bearers, and desire landing one mate – who can provide security and be a good provider, husband and father, “soulmate,” etc. These days, that means a dude with a good job, his own place, and someone who at least seems to have a somewhat stable personality. (And ladies – don’t lie to me and tell me that looks have no importance. I’ve been told this before – that women don’t care about mens’ looks – that’s a lie. The only time that’s true is if ugly men are very rich and very famous – Keith Richards and Mick Jagger look like they’ve been dead for years, but still can get 20 year-old nookie). I’m not saying women don’t want to get laid, but for most women, being wired for security instead of lots of sex with different men – that sort of internal programming is still strong.

Some women are far too timid and passive for my taste. Some women are more adventurous than others – some are more confident than others. It’s tough to find a balance – a woman who is confident and adventurous enough to enjoy sex and take part (perhaps initiate, even) but who hasn’t made love to tons of men. Very tough indeed.

Selectivity is important for men and women (although, it does seem, far less important for many men). I want to avoid disease. That’s a serious issue! Also, I won’t be at all intimate with any woman who I dislike talking with. There has to be something good about her besides looks. Women tend to want what I’ve already stated previously.

Women will be more and more selective in the future, I think. The times, as Bob Dylan used to sing, they are a changin.’ Actually, times are always changing, so said the Buddha, and the ancient Taoists too – but usually change is mostly imperceptible. Sometimes though, changes are less subtle, and even make the news.

There was a cover story in “The Atlantic,” called “The End of Men.” It’s an excerpt from a book by the same title. It is men, much more than women, who have been losing, and who are continuing to lose their jobs in this total bastard of an economy. Feminists have also won many battles – sometimes for the good, but sometimes not so much. If women are doing all the jobs that were traditionally men’s jobs, then what are men to do? Men are losing not only their salaries, but their identities. This creates, among men, higher rates of alcoholism, drug use, spousal abuse, and suicide.

Women outrank men in college attendance, and are doing better in the workplace. Many women rejoice at this.. payback for centuries of male dominance and terrible oppression. The time might just be approaching when women rule the world. They might do a far better job, but so many women have become like men in many ways, so as to compete in the global marketplace. By the time women seize the majority of power on this planet, too many of them might be as stupid and aggressive as male world leaders have been. I hope this is not the case.

I wonder how the rise of women, and the diminishing of men, and the importance of men, will affect dating culture. I am predicting that as women become more powerful, there will be a LOT more lesbians. Maybe men will eventually be seen as obsolete, even anachronistic.

I am guessing though, that there will at least be a few women around who enjoy men. I hope this is the case. Wake up guys, the competition for the ladies has become a lot more fierce! (Actually, I should not let the dudes know about this, then I will have to compete even harder).

There has recently been another change in our culture, regarding women, or, should I say, girls.

I have read a little about the “hook-up culture” among teenagers, and have heard stories about this on NPR (National Public Radio – it’s like PBS on your TV, except you can only hear what’s going on – it’s radio, people, what was once called “The Theater of the Mind.” You might like NPR, check it out… ah, but I am digressing) – the news stories don’t focus much on the males, who are of course always horny and wanting sex. No, these stories focus on teenage girls who are putting out a lot more than teenage girls used to. Gee whiz, why am I not 15 now? When I was in high school, (a long time ago) I was way too shy, and a lot of the girls probably were a whole lot less easy than many teenage girls today.

This trend among teenage girls, is of course, not good! The results of such behaviour are not pleasant – 14 year-olds with damaged psyches, unwanted pregnancies and incurable STD’s. I am unclear as to why these girls are behaving in such a way, and don’t know the reasons for culture change. I can just tell that this change is bad. I’m all for people giving each other pleasure, if they are careful about it, and are consenting adults, but getting started so early and so heavily reaps very negative consequences. Is there still a time for childhood?

Hmm…childhood isn’t what it used to be either. My mom worked in education almost all her life. In decades past, having kids in her class who came from families in which parents were on drugs and/or in jail was completely unheard of. And it was quite unusual for kids to be from single-parent households.

Mom just retired this year. Unfortunately, now, it is quite commonplace to have kids in elementary school classes that come broken homes, or living with parents who have drug backgrounds, or with one parent or another involved in some sort of crime. Some kids are now being raised in houses turned into meth labs, and where “Sesame Street” is never on the tv, because it’s playing non-stop pornography. Happy times.

And single parenting.. an epidemic!! I tried online dating for a little while. Almost all the women on the various websites I checked out (plentyoffish, match.com and yahoo singles) have one or more children, it’s shocking, really. I found online dating to be a waste for various reasons, some of which I won’t go into now, but one reason is that I’d really like to date a woman with no kids.

Why all these single mothers? I’ve been wondering about that. I was thinking for awhile that it was all the fault of men going with their biological urges – thinking with their dicks, so to speak. Spreading their seed..

And yes, that is one reason. Many many men really ARE deadbeats, it’s true.

But, I am sure that not all the fathers of kids now living at least part of the time with their mothers are bad guys. There are some really bad women out there too, who have driven their men away. There is nothing like an acid-tongued woman!

I rarely meet women who are critical and who say insulting things. Some women with this unfortunate temperament are under the VERY false impression that being snotty and insulting to a guy is an effective form of flirting. Smarter women know better! There are a few exceptions – sometimes this technque works – occasionally such women meet men who like to exchange brutal banter. I think such people are sick – it’s the verbal equivalent of sado-masochism, in my opinion, but some folks thrive on abuse – both taking it and dishing it out.

As for me, when I meet a critical woman, I avoid her, and quick, and make clear mental note to not speak with that woman again if possible. I realize that some women are just shy and don’t know how to react when a guy shows interest, so they act in a slightly mean way – but even in that circumstance – unkind words are unkind words.

I want a warm, positive and sensual woman.

Or maybe more than one of them.. one at a time.. probably..

As I mentioned above ..I’m a guy.. and it’s that ol’ biological urge. If I could get rid of it, I just might, but can’t .. so there it is..

Right now I’d rather be VERY intimate with a woman I really want than sitting here and typing this blog. But here I sit. I am doing something productive though – by working on my writing, I’m bettering myself. I’m not going to be sitting at this computer for long, though. I have much work to do.. learning about finance, and careers, working on skills and planning my life – figuring out ways to make serious money, and provide security – or at least the appearance of it – which will trigger a mating instinct in women who are wired to notice and respond to male prosperity. (Which means pretty much all women, even if they won’t admit it to themselves or to men).

Then I can have what I need.

Yes, I know.. love (that four-letter word) can change everything.. but I don’t even want to think about that anytime soon. Sometimes, a guy just wants sex. Sex, and leave me alone. Let me sleep.

And most women reading this blog are no doubt saying – “oh yeah? you go to hell!” – I can’t say I’m blaming them, they are just going with their internal programming, as I am going with mine, and just maybe.. somewhere..

some god…

is laughing.

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