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questions and internal interview.

March 14, 2011

mandolin or bass guitar?
Both, but emphasis on mandolin.. practice it first, I mean.
learn fretboard and theory for which instrument?
Ironically I feel it more important to learn the bass fretboard and study theory for bass instead of mandolin. Not sure why. Perhaps I can get better at bass faster?
keep bass or try to sell it for lower price? (thus alleviating having to choose between two instruments)
Keep it. For now. Am awaiting a high tech new padded strap. If the new strap makes the extraordinary weight of this much heavier than normal bass manageable, I shall
keep the instrument. If it is still too uncomfortable to play, I shall waste no more money and time on it, and sell it for what I can get for it.
Is practicing music and studying theory, etc. a good use of time or a tormenting and terrible waste?
I honestly don’t know. Very torn on this one. But I feel compelled to work on music even more than I feel it is absurd to do so. So I play music while sometimes really feeling
like a self-abusing idiot who would benefit greatlyfrom doing other things.
will I buy more stuff on credit?
Not if I can help it. Cut up the credit card I was using. Still have to delete it from online accounts. Will do that soon, before I change my mind. And try not to be anxious
about it.
Am I wasting too much time watching DVD’s, or is this good for me as I am still stabilizing myself mentally?
Will try to use at least part of each day for something beneficial, or at least what I think is beneficial.
Spanish or Japanese?
Mostly Spanish, I think. Japanese seems more fun at times. Also, I relate MUCH more to Asian cultures than Hispanic cultures. I am neither Asian nor Hispanic, but feel I am far
more Asian than Hispanic..
So why Spanish?
I think there will be much more opportunities here in America to use Spanish, FAR more people to practice Spanish with, and it will for the most part be much more beneficial
for me to learn, than Japanese. I still dream of going to Japan. And I still might go there and teach someday. But, it is likely I shall return after a year or two. And upon my
return, if I desire to teach English as a Second Language, it will help LOTS (I am guessing) to teach Spanish. And.. when I try to learn Japanese words, Spanish words keep coming to my mind. 2 college semesters back in the early 1990’s… l learned enough Spanish words for them to clutter my head when I’ve tried to learn Japanese.
Why was that last lined I typed out of joint compared to the others?
I don’t know.. some sort of unfathomable glitch. But then, I am not very computer literate.
Any other languages I might like to learn?
I’d like to pick up at least a smattering of Chinese – probably Mandarin, although I think in Hong Kong, they speak mostly Cantonese, don’t they? Also, Arabic. It sounds cool,
and I find Arabic people and the Middle East intriguing.
Why is that?
Tough to say. Some of my favorite movies are set in or at least partially set in the Middle East.
Which movies?
“Body of Lies,” “Syriana,” “The Kingdom,” “Charlie Wilson’s War,” “Kingdom of Heaven.”
“Lawrence of Arabia” is not in that list, why not? It’s a classic.
I agree that it is a classic, but it is so long, and at times, so dull, that I have not yet been able to get through it. Same goes for “Ben-Hur.” Maybe someday.
Ok.. moving on.. Buddhism or Paganism?
A little bit of both, without formally being either. Would like to be one or the other formally, but not suited to any spiritual path. This troubles me.
Because I believe a big part of being human is being spiritual.. having some sort of religious and/or spiritual practice. There are parts of me I feel are missing.
Parts missing, like the desire to be a husband and father?
No, not really. I suppose I might like to be a husband someday, although many is the time I find the notion of monogamy and marriage to be patently absurd..
As for children.. I realize this is something “normal” adults do, and feel pressured by society to do.. get married and have kids. I’m not entirely ruling out
marriage, but almost. I AM entirely ruling out children. I got a vasectomy back in ’07, didn’t make any kids before that, and since the operation
no longer can. I’ve never ever wanted children. Just dealing with my brother’s kids for most of a day is quite stressful. A lifetime spent raising kids? Don’t even want
to begin thinking about such a thing. I worry too much, get stressed to much, and am just not interested.
Do I get along with kids?
Yeah, mostly, if they are well-behaved. I’ve had several jobs working with kids.. daycare-type jobs, and a tutor/mentor position working with elementary school students.
I like kids in small doses. Good to be an uncle (sometimes) but certainly not a parent.
What career choice makes the most sense?
I had a conversation on the phone with my brother a couple weeks back. He and I both dropped out of college. He has returned to college part time, although is not taking
any academic classes this semester. I spent 7 years going to college full-time back in the ’90’s, and the last four years I took a class or two here and there, but nothing
practical. I am contemplating going back to college..
You are going off on a tangent, what was the conversation on the phone about?
My brother and I agreed that we should somehow pick a career that makes use of the classes we have already taken – he majored in History, I majored in English, but also took
a lot of social science classes – instead of picking a different major and starting over. He is seriously thinking of becoming a history teacher.. except there isn’t much
demand for history teachers, and lots of competition, because, he says, most guys who want to teach, want to teach history (or P.E, perhaps). English teachers aren’t
in very high demand either, but I am thinking ESL teachers are more in demand than other English teachers, and I would rather teach ESL anyway.
If I were starting over.. starting college over, what would I major in?
If I were able to catch on to math, and especially science classes (math is needed in many science classes) I suppose I would take courses that would allow me to pursue
some career that involves working with Nature – Forestry, Horticulture, Environmental Conservation, something like that. But, I’m far better with words than I am
with the study of math or science. Can’t help it.
Ok. What inspired me to want to become an ESL teacher?
Two things.. 1. Funny parts in movies.. “Good Morning Vietnam!” Robin Williams plays a broadcaster in Saigon (which, since the end of the war, has been called Ho Chi Minh City, after the victorious communist leader). To pursue a sexual and potentially romantic interest in a native girl, the character Williams plays takes over an ESL class and finds himself being rather good at it. Another movie has a very brief scene in an ESL classroom. The film is a comedy called “Stripes,” and stars Harold Ramis and Bill Murray (The two team up a bit later in “Ghostbusters,” and are joined by Dan Akroyd). Ramis plays an ESL teacher.. I haven’t seen the movie in many years, but the classroom scene is funny because of foul language..
2. I’m good at tutoring ESL.. I’ve done it twice before.. I figure this is the best career choice for me, besides librarian…I love digging for info, but being a librarian requires a Master’s Degree, and as far as I know, there are no librarian programs in this state.

Well.. that’s enough questions for now, I am getting tired. I don’t know if my choices are wise ones or not.. if these answers are correct. I feel uneasy about some of them, but this is the best I can do.. for now.
to be rather good at teaching it, so he continues to do so. The classroom scenes were

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