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strange dreams.

March 30, 2011

I was practicing my mandolin just now, but there has been a LOT muddling my head, and I could not concentrate.. so.. have to start bloggin’ again.

Dreams.. the dreams I want to write about now are not the kind of aspirations I have, such as the desire to be an excellent mandolin player.. but the dreams I have at night.

Usually I don’t remember them much after I wake up, but the dreams I had last night and this morning.. seems I dream a lot in the early morning hours before I wake up.. have stayed with me. They are stranger than usual.

I am not one of those people into all sorts of mystical things, nor am I a Jungian psychologist, although I do plan to read (or probably listen to an audiobook) of certain works by Carl Jung.

I do not look for interpretations of dreams, or think they are cosmic messages from spirits, or whatever.. Elements from our unconscious mind.. yeah, I guess, but still, I have no need to try and figure out what the dreams mean.

I do however feel like typing these out, since they are stranger than most, and because I still remember them.

When I dream, I dream in segments, or vignettes. The segments don’t relate to each other..I find myself in one situation interacting with some people, and then right in another situation with other people. If movies were edited and put together like this, the effect would be jarring, but that is not how I feel while dreaming.. it’s seamless.. one scene and situation to the next one..

So.. without further ado..

The first part I remember..

Almost everyone I interact with in dreams are people I don’t know in waking life, and have never met, but sometimes friends and relatives show up.. rare, but it happens.

I have a friend back in California I used to hang out with during the 1990’s, but eventually lost contact with, except for when I ran into him at bookstores from time to time.

He is gay. That never was a problem for years, but eventually I became uncomfortable with my gay friends. Because of all the intense and ubiquitous gay propaganda that has been in the media for years, I had found myself reacting with a backlash, and becoming more conservative. That’s one reason it became awkward to hang with gay friends. For some years I was against gay marriage. I’m not against it now, but for awhile I was.

The other reason I stopped hanging out with my gay male friends is because both of the main ones I spent time with started showing more interest in me, which made me uncomfortable. Call me homophobic if you want, but I don’t like gay men taking an interest in me..not a sexual or romantic interest.

I don’t care that other people are gay. People should be who they are, as long as they are not causing harm to others. I am a heterosexual, and do NOT want certain kinds of attention from gay men. That is how I am..

But anyway..

This friend of mine…last time I saw him was a few months before I moved..

He showed up briefly in a dream.

I was laying on a couch in a shabby, dark house. The light was fairly low, the living room small and cluttered with books, tv set, various and sundry things. I was laying on a black leather couch.

This friend of mine had brought me there to receive medical attention. I don’t know what was wrong with me, but the condition was potentially life threatening, and I had to be tended to by this wacky old queer doctor in whose house I was staying in. Don, my friend, had me brought there.. I think maybe he helped me walk there to that house.. had some vague memory of that in the dream, perhaps..

The wacky doctor guy.. wasn’t dressed weird, but was in his 50’s or 60’s, greying hair, somewhat wrinkled face, crazy eyes and smile.. he was the doctor. To stave off whatever illness I had, he had to inject me twice with some black stuff that filled the vial attached to the needle. I don’t remember the actual pin prick, but it was on the arm. I just don’t remember the feeling of a needle while I was dreaming.

It was black nasty looking stuff. I don’t know why, but I believed somewhat that it would help.

Don was standing nearby for a bit, and sometimes he wasn’t there.. it was kind of like I was feverish.. and would go in and out of sleep (sleeping while in a dream.. interesting.. but it was a dreamless sleep).

I had the impression that there were things going on in another room of the house that I would be troubled by and would not want to be a part of.

The way the small house was organized, there was a passageway on each side of the back wall of the living room that the tv (turned off) was against.. so you could walk right or left into another room. I heard voices there..

It felt creepy.. like some gay nasty stuff was being discussed, like some porn stuff perhaps, but also I got a negative occultic vibe too… so I stayed on the couch.

And then the segment ended.. that was it. That’s how my dreams often go.. usually no logical conclusion.. just moving on..

I don’t remember all of the next part..

I was on a road trip somewhere with my parents and my brother.. sort of felt like I was younger, like in my twenties, but I don’t know why.

We stopped at an odd place.. it was sort of like a roller-rink. Similar concept..

But, instead of renting skates, there were little BMX bicycles to rent, and there was a track of sorts indoors to ride around. Pedaling around this track was difficult because there were all these wood shavings.. layers of them, that covered the track. It seemed pointless to me. I got a little bike, and went around at least once, slowly, and didn’t know why I did this.. nobody else did. Here I was in this rather odd room.. most of the floor space was empty, the track had little walls like in roller rinks.. about 4 feet high or so, to keep riders on the track.

I stopped pedaling, thinking how absurd it was. I went outside the building. I had a feeling I was not supposed to be outside, that it was not for customers to be out there, or something like that. There was no part in the dream that I remember being waited on.. I just had the bike, rode around, went outside, felt like I wasn’t supposed to be there, but went out anyway.

It was fairly dark outside.. almost nightfall, but not quite.

There was a pond, with some trees in the foreground, some dense dark foliage along the side of the pond.

There was a strange little raft of sorts coming toward the back, in my direction.

It was a little log with two animals on it. In back of the log was a squirrel.. like the red tree squirrels that live out here. It was paddling with a stick, ’til it reached the bank.

Sitting in front of the squirrel was a barn owl, that had an intelligent and displeased look on its face.. like it was not happy to see me.. irritated with me for being there.

As soon as the owl stepped on the bank… a second or so after it stepped onto the sand, it flew quickly into some trees a little ways back from the small trees on the left side of the bank, and shrieked a bit as it flew.

Then.. a vague blur of what..I can’t remember.. something to do with my cat. She had been traveling with us, and had gotten out of the car to where the pond was, and had gotten hurt somehow by one of the animals out there. I hadn’t witnessed her get hurt.

Next scene.. a motel room (this part at least makes a little sense.. we – my mom, aunt, dad, cat and myself traveled up here to Idaho by car, and did let our cat out in a hotel room.

In this scene, my cat was injured. She, in real life, was hurt last year. She was attacked by another cat, bitten several places, and almost died. Cats have some poisonous substances in their saliva that causes infection. Back when I was working at the wildlife center, we saw many cat bites, and many animals died even though the bites were not deep. The cause of death was the saliva of the cats.

We did get Suzie, our cat, to the vet in time. The vet had to shave off her fur in several places (did you know that if your cat has calico fur, she’ll have that color of skin too?) and we could see the bite marks.

This is how Suzie looked in the dream, although in the dream she had not yet been taken to a vet.

I was arguing with my mom, in the dream.. explaining that Suzie was hurt. My mom said we should wait until the next day or so to take Suzie into the vet.

Right before I woke up I had the thought .. perhaps a premonition within the dream, that we’d wait too long because of my mom’s stubbornness, and Suzie would have to be put down.

That’s what I remember of the three segments of the dreams..

Odd.. yes.

What do these things mean? I don’t know.. It’s what my brain came up with.

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