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gratitude for two women.

April 7, 2011

To convey the full extent of my appreciation of and gratitude for women would take an almost infinite amount of time, so I will just write this particular entry in praise of two women, and how their presence helped me.

I was at the dentist today, again.. this time getting some molds taken for a crown, and a temporary crown put in.

The dental assistant was a petite woman of average height with somewhat dyed blonde hair. She might have been partially hispanic, and she had lovely brown eyes.

She didn’t sit pressed up against me during the entire procedure, just had one knee against me for a little while.

During another procedure she had to sit behind me. She had to lean over me, and her breasts were just barely touching my head.

This is not the sort of contact that gets me sexually aroused. The feeling is something else a little more difficult to describe.

Feeling her near me, just a little bit near me, and being able to look up into her eyes for some moments here and there..

Just made me feel good, comforted, slightly excited, happy.

Like I said, I can’t explain the feeling well, except to say that it was very pleasant and good, and I am glad she was there.

The other woman I want to write about is a Cambodian who I met in community college back in ’93. She and I had a history class together. She was very tiny and cute, with a feisty and funny personality, We got along rather well. We did not date because she came from a traditional family, and she said she would not be allowed to date a white guy. (Ironically, many years after college, she did indeed marry a white guy. I guess her relatives finally relaxed about that.)

This woman and I only went out as friends, once. She brought her attractive Thai friend who was visiting California. I got to have a Chinese dinner and watch a movie (“Aladdin”) with two cute and friendly Asian girls. That was a nice night! A chaste night, but a nice night.

After the semester was over, the Cambodian woman and I didn’t see each other anymore, our schedules changed, I transferred somewhere, she transferred to another place..

And I didn’t see her until 2007.. in the most odd of places and circumstances.

In March of 2007 I went into a medical clinic for a vasectomy.

The attending nurse was Asian, and looked vaguely familiar. But not familiar enough.

She thought I looked familiar too.

We talked a bit, puzzling things out.. she said she knew me..

She said her name was Tida. I’d never met anyone who had identified herself as Tida. I was sure of that.. the mystery deepened.

I finally told her.. “I knew an Asian woman named Dara back at school many years ago…”

She gave me a look that was both indignant and amused, and said, “I AM Dara, Tom!!”

Turns out she sometimes uses the name Tida, just not back when we were in school.

So many years had passed, and here I am, on an operating table, with my pants down, scared, because I am about to have my testicles operated on.. and here is Dara.

I had hoped years ago that she and I would become a couple, eventually intimate, and that someday I would be able to be .. exposed with her.. but I gave up those hopes fairly quickly back in the ’90’s.

In 2007 I … sort of got what I wished for. I was.. exposed in her presence, but NOT in the kind of place or situation I’d had in mind!

The operation was QUITE painful. And it took awhile. Two doctors worked on me.. one senior doctor, who was Asian, and a white doctor was in training.

The Asian doctor walked over to where my head was at, shortly before the end of the operation, and told me, in an accent I cannot imitate, “You’re doing well, most guys would have passed out by now.”

I was feeling a bit faint, but I didn’t tell him that.

Having Dara there certainly helped! I didn’t feel awkward at all to be seeing her (or being seen by her) in the operating room after over a decade had passed since I’d seen her last.

I am glad she was there. A comforting presence.

I am writing this post in gratitude for these two women, who helped me through two difficult times.

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