dogs and mind control.

I put the zap on a dog today. Twice.

What do I mean by that? I will explain a bit later.

Our neighbor to the south has a black Labrador Retriever. For many years now, Labradors, commonly called “labs” have been the most popular and best selling dogs.

For hunters, owning a dog of this breed makes sense. My cousins and uncle hunt several different animals, depending on the season, and take their dogs with them. Sometimes the dogs are used to flush game, and sometimes are sent out into lakes or ponds to retrieve ducks that have just been shot.

Yes. For hunters, the Labrador Retriever is a sensible choice.

But the vast majority of owners of labs are not hunters. They are conformists who lack any shred of imagination.

I have a strong guess that my neighbors fall into the second category.

My neighbors are less than splendid people. It appears they have gone on a two week vacation. Last month, and in the months before, we only heard the very loud ululations of the crazed canine at infrequent intervals. We have therefore assumed that at least one person was home, and would allow the dog to enter the house, and keep the dog inside for many hours. We thought this because we heard no barking.

The past two weeks though, this has not been the case. I am guessing someone comes to give the dog food and water, but I have not heard nor seen such a person. The dog does bark in the middle of the night. Perhaps its keeper works under cover of darkness.

The dog does stop barking on occasion. I believe this animal ceases its noise only to rest up for another bombardment of canine cacophony.

Such was the case earlier this evening, when I was digging in the earth and removing small, undesirable plants from the soil. The area of the yard I was toiling in is closest to the fence, on the other side of which the dog dwells, lives, moves, and has its noisy being.

I eventually lost my patience with the nearly constant noise, and had an inspiration.

I looked intently at the dog through a crack in the fence, making sure to maintain strong eye contact and not waiver. In general it is not at all wise to make eye contact with a dog for more than a few seconds. The animal will react negatively because it will see this as a challenge.

Had I tried the technique I’d only just thought of, on the dog, without a fence between us, I am guessing the results of my endeavor might have been different than what I achieved. I am not sure of this, but would rather not find out.

As I kept eye contact with the dog, I made a sound that it had likely never heard before. A noise like that of Buddhist monks when they are chanting.

These monks chant in a much lower register. A singing teacher has evaluated my voice and informed me that I am a high tenor. I do not know if that is true, but I do know that I cannot make any vocalizations with the same depth that the monks can reach. Perhaps if I spent a decade in a monastery, I would be taught the ancient and arcane art of chanting like the monks do. Or maybe not.

I could not make my voice sound as low as the monks, but did my best in my tenor range.

It is possible to make a very odd sound by pursing one’s lips a certain way, and moving the lips a little to change the sound. I cannot explain the sound to you.

How did I come up with this sound? There are two sources I have heard that I have learned from. One is an audiobook called “Healing Yourself with Your Own Voice” by Don Campbell. The other source is hearing the chants and mantras of people who practice various Eastern religions.

I made an odd sound, and kept it up for a minute or longer. When I was starting to lose my breath, I altered the sound of my voice again, adding some vibrato.

The dog barked a few more times, then ceased! The dog stayed quiet for over a half hour, even though I continued to work on my side of the fence.

After some time passed, the dog started up again with its extremely irritating barking.

Once again I looked through a crack in the fence, made eye contact with the dog, and repeated my sound. This time, toward the end of my chant, I added not only vibrato but a few words in an ancient language that I do not understand. Either Pali or Sandskrit. I have heard this language being chanted as part of a Buddhist ceremony.

My strange vocalizing caused the canine even more alarm than before. It looked at me with more than a tinge of fear, shut its mouth, backed up, changed course, and went to sit silently in a far part of the yard. I continued my work in silence.

Yes, I put the zap on a dog. Twice.

Dog mind control.

You may indeed assume that I am at least somewhat deranged. However, consider the true stories of people who use the sounds of their voices to influence animals. You may have heard of the horse whisperer, who is a real person. There is even a dog whisperer on television, or so I have heard. I have never watched that program.

But, I do believe that we can influence the behaviour of animals with the sounds of our voice. I have just proved to myself that this is true.

There is one other form of dog mind control that I wish to write about. This is something I have heard about while watching nature and science shows about dogs on PBS.

When faced with a potentially violent dog, one that is growling and preparing to attack, there is only one thing that might help hat has the best chance of preventing attack and injury.

Running? No! Certainly not! Dogs can run much faster than people. Also, dogs have an instinct that drives them to chase down prey. If you run, the dog will be all too happy to give chase, and catch you. This will be a positive outcome for the dog, but not for you.

Backing away slowly while looking in the dog’s direction, but not in its eyes… I have heard that this might help some. At least it will work better than turning your back on the dog and fleeing.

What works best may seem counter-intuitive. The way to most increase one’s odds of preventing an attack is to intimidate the dog.

This is done by appearing much larger and meaner than you would otherwise.

The way to do this is stand as tall as you can, raise your arms, wave them around, make growling noises as loud as you can, jump around some, and yell with an angry voice at the dog. This will scare the dog, and it will not likely attack you. It might even turn tail and retreat.

I cannot guarantee that this technique will always work. However, I have heard various dog experts on PBS recommend this particular course of action to fend off attack.

Dog mind control.