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peaceful, quite exciting, then boring dream.

July 8, 2011

Going by the calendar, it is now Friday, the 8th of July, but for me it is still Thursday night, the 7th of July.


Today (the 7th) while I was asleep and dreaming things were good. I tend to stay awake until 3 or 4 am, and wake up around noon or so. I do my dreaming in the morning hours, and lately, I’ve been able to remember at least some of my dreams. I had a fairly dark one almost a week ago, and haven’t written about it. Not sure if I will or not.. the memory is fading a little bit. That dark one unpleasant.. not a good vibe from it.

This dream..I’ve had a very busy and somewhat chaotic day, so I don’t remember all of this part morning’s dream..

But here goes..

In real life, (or waking life?) when I write about dreams.. each time I do so I remember this weird Zen-type Eastern saying or whatever about a guy on a mountainside who dreams of being a butterfly who dreams of a man. This little Eastern bit of Eastern thought is supposed to be quite deep.

Some Buddhist teachings say that the world we experience.. our outer world of existence, and our inner world of thought and identity are all illusion.

I guess the butterfly story is posing the question, “What is real? That might not be the “official” interpretation, but there you are.

When I say “real life” I mean the waking life.. what we call real, and dreams being illusion.

Hmm..there is another philosophy called solipsism that says the only thing real is the self and all the rest of it.. our thoughts, experiences, etc. is all illusion. I don’t know what the solipsists thought about dreams.

Are dreams real life too? Do we interacted with other real people in our dreams? One of the fathers of psychology, Carl Jung, who I am just starting to study, believed in something called the collective unconscious, and I am guessing Jung might have believed that we tap into this collective mind when we dream, and that we do interact with other people.

Whether Jung for sure believed this or not.. I don’t know..I’m just starting to learn more about Jung.

Whether or not we interact with real people while dreaming.. I have no idea.

Are dreams worth analyzing and making a huge deal of.. dream interpretation and so forth? Not so much.. some dreams I’ve had just confirm my conscience existence.. how it has been during certain times of my life. In some dreams, I was lonely, alienated from people, and not doing well with women. And that’s how I was in dreams..

But lately.. my dreams have more often been more interesting..I don’t know why. Changes in psychiatric medication perhaps? But the sedative I am on I have been on for several years. The mood regulator I am on I’ve been taking for 3 or 4 months, and I take it only during the day, and it seems not to do much..

So why are my dreams more interesting lately? I don’t know that either.

Life is full of mysteries.

Were this not so, life would be boring..

But mysteries can be frustrating.

So I am not going to try to analyze (damn that word is sooo hard to spell and type.. did I get it right this time?) my dreams. When I find meaning, the meaning is usually clear.. basically, as I mentioned.. just confirmation of how my waking life has been at certain times.

Lately, I don’t know what to make of my dreams. Some are more interesting than others.

This past morning, I found myself running around some city in the Phillipene (damnit almost 1 am and I’m NOT going to try to spell everything right!!)

I’ve never been to the Philipenes, so the city I was running around in might not have looked like Manila or any other Philippe whatever city.. but that’s where I understood myself to be.

In my dreams, most of the time I am an observer.. I see the action happening. Sometimes I am both the observer and participant. Sometimes I am just the participant and see things first person, and sometimes I am tapped into the emotions and feelings of other characters..

Sorry to throw you off, but if you have read much of my entries before now.. you realize I go about on many tangents, as I have already done.. getting into the subject of dreams..

Ok..I must backtrack.. before the running around part..

My dad and I got off some train late at night in some city in what I thought of as Japan perhaps, or some other Eastern country, although it did not look particularly interesting.

Nothing much happened. My dad and I each wandered off into this city that looked rough, but felt quite safe. Lots of brick buildings and graffiti on the walls, but we were not worried at all.

I don’t know where I wandered off to, but I found my dad on sort of a bridge or walkway over a street, just looking out at the city streets and the night. I didn’t mean to see him there. But I did. It was a relaxing setting. But I wanted to roam around more in this city with no one walking around in it.. exploring by myself, and came upon my dad by accident.. so I was a tiny bit perturbed, but didn’t mind because it was such a nice night.

As I have written about before in previous entries about dreams, scenes, settings, people all change immediately, and I am not muddled by this at all. That’s how my dreams naturally go.

So next I not only am doing something, but also it is as if I am seeing myself from the vantage point of a rather tall building. I get the feeling this tall building is old, like some massive church you might find in the Vatican, or wherever there is a Cathedral. I think most Filipinos are catholic, so it makes sense I am observing from near the top of a cathedral..

I see myself running, and then I experience it.

I am not running from anyone, I am running trying to catch someone, or some people.

I’ve got a yellow police jacket on, and black pants. I’ve got a police-style walkie-talky two way radio..maybe the police still use these. The radio is on my right hip.

On my left hip is a gun. It’s a Beratta 9mm handgun. Upon waking I thought it was strange that I had the gun on my left hip, considering I am right-handed. And just now, I had a thought that it was strange I was carrying a Beretta, not a Sig Saur (spelling? again, I don’t feel like looking this up.

I’ve for some reason I don’t understand, been thinking of Sig guns for weeks. I’d like to own one, but don’t quite trust myself with guns, and plus I can’t nearly afford one.

But anyway.. I was carrying a Beretta. I like those too, but haven’t thought of that brand of gun in a long time..

So my view from a high building ..the view of me running quite fast across a crowded plaza and talking into my radio as I run.. that observer’s view changes, and I am in first person.. experiencing things.

I am part of some sort of law enforcement, and I am talking to another person on the force.. no that word doesn’t feel right.. I don’t know what to call us.. sort of like the FBI or some sort of international whatever.. I don’t know.

Point being I was legally allowed to carry a sidearm, and had a two way radio, and I was in pursuit of some other people.

The person I was talking to was a black woman.. another person like me in a yellow jacket etc. carrying gun and so forth?

She seemed to me sort of like the black woman in that early nineties cop drama called “21 Jump Street,” which was rather good. The actor Johnny Depp got his start in showbusiness on that program.. The black woman.. I don’t know what she did after that show, which I have not seen since maybe.. I don’t know.. 1990?

Anyway, the black woman in my dream reminded me somewhat of the one in 21 Jumpstreet.

In the dream though, I didn’t see her, but knew what she looked like because she was my teammate. It was her voice on the radio.

She and I were running down terrorists. They were supposed to be in this crowded area. We were trying to help each other locate the terrorists.

I found myself running through a modern library, mostly full of completely innocuous people.

Then, I just caught a glimpse of a slovenly fat guy with greasy black hair and maybe a blue cap, with dirty white t-shirt and dirty blue overalls. He walked slowly, and was carrying over his left shoulder, some sort of heavy weaponry.. a bazooka or rocket propelled.. no I think it was a belt-fed machine gun like the Germans used in WWII.. that might have been it.

He crossed the aisle I was in.. from one side of it to the other.. perpendicular from me, continued down the aisle he’d been walking down before he crossed the one I was in.

He almost seemed to know I was there, and was not in the least bit worried.

He didn’t look at me, maybe wasn’t aware of my presence at all.. just kept walking slowly.

Obviously a terrorist, because he was carrying a heavy machine gun in a library.

Once he walked into the left side of the aisle though.. I don’t know where he went.. didn’t get to look down that aisle I don’t think, but had the impression that he just disappeared.

That part of the dream ended, and I found myself in Japan, in some city. I don’t remember what I was doing there, except that not much at all was happening, and it was pretty dull..

Then I woke up.

I quite liked the running around with a gun on one hip, the radio on the other, and talking to this black woman on the radio who was either a dispatcher like at a police station telling me where to go, or was out in the field like me chasing down or trying to find and then chase down terrorists.

This part of the dream was lots of fun.

But then I found myself in Japan. Never been there either, but have watched Japanese films and documentaries, books and so forth about Japan, so I know what it looks like, as best I can tell without being there.

I was disappointed about being in Japan, and thought it boring because the Japanese are so well mannered, and there is almost no crime at all in their cities or anywhere in that country, so after the excitement I have been describing, I knew there would be no action and chasing anybody through a crowd and so forth.

Stuck in a mild-mannered society. It was like “.. Awww man!” Disappointed. Exciting part of dream over.

Yeah, and then I woke up.. but still really liked the exciting part.

Thosewere the dreams or part of the dream of this past morning.

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