the comforts of being overweight.

I am about 20 pounds overweight right now.. maybe a little more. I’ve been overweight for awhile, and this has, until recently, adversely affected my self-esteem.

But I don’t feel so bad anymore about being overweight.

Why not?

1. I am not concerned about dating and sex. I’m broke, and deal with some heavy issues.. not the best time to date. I feel good about not wanting to attract women right now, or worrying if they are attracted to me. I don’t care. Since I am not worried about attracting women, I feel far less bad about being overweight.

2. I can eat what I want and feel less guilt. Yesterday, my relatives and I celebrated my sister-in-law’s birthday. I had one and a half large hamburgers, a good size dollop of macaroni salad, some quionoa (however the hell that is spelled) salad, three beers, two pieces of cake, and two kinds of ice cream. And I didn’t feel bad about it. I like to enjoy food. And beer. If it is really good beer.

Being able to not worry about my appearance, and to eat fattening food.. this is nice.

Of course, being overweight can be uncomfortable. My back is not doing all that well, especially since almost all my body fat is concentrated on my torso. That is what alcohol does.. directs body fat to collect on chest, stomach, and just above the hips. I don’t drink much.. 6 beers a week or less, usually.. but this seems to be enough alcohol to put the fat where it is, instead of the fat being spread all over my body.

Yeah.. I need to lose weight. I suppose I run some risk of diabetes and other health problems if I stay overweight while getting further into middle age. I’m already 40. I started an exercise class today and really worked up a sweat. I plan on learning how to cook better and eat better.

But.. surprisingly, there is some comfort in being overweight.

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Edit..

I wrote this post just over two years ago. I have lost 25 pounds since then (gained a few before I lost the weight). I still have some extra weight on me.

I have long since stopped finding being overweight to be comforting, and would really like to be thin. After awhile it gets really old looking in the mirror and seeing man boobs, a gut, and love handles. It’s a good thing I’m not intimate with anyone these days.. I’d feel a lack of confidence and insecurity.

I think it is far better to be in shape than overweight, not only for visual appeal, but because walking around with an overweight body feels uncomfortable. Lastly, there is the risk of diabetes.

This past year, I have mostly been quite careful (or at least somewhat careful) about what I eat. I hope to lose more weight and improve my general physical condition.

For every sin there is a season. A time to enjoy that which is unhealthy or unwise. Eventually, often (but not always, perhaps) one must pay for one’s mistakes and carelessness.