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wondering about a spirit path, and other concerns.

January 8, 2015

In this post, I’ll be presenting a copy of an email I just sent to my friend, who is very knowledgeable about spirituality. I’m using the email so I don’t have to rewrite a whole blog post. I’ll just edit out a few items and change a couple things in the email.

I have a lot of struggles, difficulties, and even disabilities that I deal with. I am trying to get help. I think my friend can help me.. by offering advice and I don’t know what else. He meets a lot of interesting people. Maybe he or one of them can help me along the way, whatever the way I should walk.

Here’s the email I sent just now. It’s after 3 am, and I’m of course not expecting a reply right away, but I wanted to type these thoughts out now, since I am still awake, and concerned. These have been things I’ve been wondering about for a long time.

Ok then.. here’s the email I sent..

“Hi, I am wondering if you know of a spiritual path that works with spirits in some way?

I have trouble believing in deities and creation stories. I prefer to leave creation stories alone, and be agnostic in that regard.

I consider nature to be spiritually alive, and a spiritual presence or being arising from nature, not creating it. Would this be called panentheism.. different from pantheism?

Also, I somewhat believe not only in a massive spiritual presence that arises from nature.. the spirit of nature, but also in nature spirits, smaller spirits of various places, such as the top of Table Rock, or in my backyard, which has a lot of landscaping.

I think about the Japanese religion Shinto, which I don’t, as yet, know much about. Shinto is focused on spirits, but some spirits are called gods. They seem to be different sorts of gods than Western gods though, or maybe not.

There are two movies I recommend to you. They are both anime (Japanese animation) classics. One has a bit of violence and bloodshed in it, and is rated PG-13. The other is rated PG, I think.

The first is called “Princess Mononoke.” The second is called “Spirited Away.” Both are heavily steeped in Shinto. I would like to know what you think of these films once you watch them.

They are wonderful movies.

I feel that I would somehow like to work with spirits, but I experience fear when thinking about this. I’ve been exposed to a lot of Christian propaganda in the past.. saying that all spirits that new agers and others work with are actually demons fooling people. It can be tough to get past this.

I sort of believe in a spirit world. And in a spirit world, there are some spirits that are stronger than others. There are nature spirits and other kinds, celestial I suppose, whatever that means.. angels and so forth.

I’m thinking there are good spirits, bad spirits, and some that are like us in that they are just trying to get through the day, and not particularly powerful, or bad or good.

And there may be mighty beings that are good, and mighty beings that are evil.

When working with spirits (or gods/god energy for that matter) how do you know you are not being deceived? How do you know you’ve got the right spirits you are working with?


The Japanese have their spirit religion. The native Americans do as well, and other people across the globe who are what we call shamans or medicine people, etc. The Buddhists in Thailand have their own folk magic tradition, as do so many other cultures in various places

I feel that I would need some guidance to help me along a spirit path.

I don’t have space in my room for a Shinto shrine, except for a very small one. One of the items in a Shinto shrine is a mirror, which is used for spirits to travel through. I feel a bit uncomfortable setting up a spirit gateway in my room.

There’s a very sobering thing I read in Buckland’s guide to Wicca, many years ago. He wrote that mentally ill people should not practice witchcraft.

Maybe people like me, who suffer greatly from depression and anxiety might not have natural spiritual and psychological defenses like most people. I think this is a definite possibility.

And I feel blocked.. maybe that is not the right word.. I don’t know..

I’ve been thinking of getting a Tarot reading. I’m a bit uneasy about this (Tarot readings), again because of my past as a Christian, but I am not uneasy about you. Maybe you could help, and figure some things out. I think my problems are not just neurological/mental. I don’t know.

I’ve been wondering for years if I’m under some curse or curses, or if I’ve got messed up karma from a past life.. even though it’s somewhat hard for me to believe in past lives.

Sometimes it is hard for me to believe in much of anything.

But I need much more than my analytical brain operating. If I get into Buddhism, Zen-style, that’s pretty much all mind-focused, intensely so. I was once told by a qi gong practioner that I need to do things for my heart.
I would like a spiritual practice that is not only good for my mind, but for my heart and the rest of my being as well.
Maybe that has something to do with spirits. I don’t know.
Here are my thoughts.. which I have been thinking for awhile. I’d like to get your opinion on these things.
Thanks for taking the time for reading this email and for talking to me. I have very few allies. I talk with my mom here at home, and sometimes my aunt and my dad, who I live with.
I don’t talk much with anyone else except for you and Susan.  (Note to new blog readers:  Susan is the woman I’ve mentioned in previous posts, who is a serious Buddhist. She also might still practice some form of Shamanism. But her main focus is Buddhism).

I need some help.”

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