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homophobic or simply straight?

August 29, 2015

Some women believe that because straight men don’t like seeing images of gay men kissing and so forth, that must mean the straight guys are homophobic, bigoted, etc.

That is incorrect. Straight guys don’t like seeing gay guys in action simply because straight guys are straight. Women who don’t understand this do not understand because women are not men. Women and men think differently about a great many things, including sexuality.

I’ve taken many psychology and sociology classes. I’ve learned from these classes, and from observation, and talking with women, that women are more flexible than men when sexuality is concerned.

What I mean is, for many women, it is fairly easy to experiment with same-sex partners, be in a same-sex relationship for years and then later in a straight relationship, or start out in straight relationships, and later be involved with women.

For example.. I once worked with a woman who was a lesbian, and had been for years. However, during our conversations, she often said, “back when I was straight…”

Another example, two of my female facebook friends had boyfriends when I first met them. One is now married to a woman, and the other has been dating women exclusively for years.

I lived in CA most of my life, less than 2 hours away from San Francisco. I had MANY gay and lesbian friends, acquaintances, and co-workers. I never once heard a gay dude say “back when I was straight,” or met a solidly gay man who was once genuinely straight.

I did meet gay men who had married women because of social pressure (their marriages ended eventually). I also met a few bisexual men who were quite content to sleep with whoever.

Although there are some bisexual men who have no problem going both ways, so to speak, most men are either solidly straight or gay, and they’ve always been that way.

I know this because this is what I have learned in my classes. I know this because of observation. I know this because I’ve talked with both straight and gay men.

Straight men, no matter if they are conservative or progressive, generally will not feel comfortable seeing images of gay men being intimate with each other. Straight men who say they say they are totally cool with seeing such things are saying this so their progressive girlfriends will continue to like them, have sex with them, etc., and so people will not call them homophobic and bigoted.

The condition of homophobia is often described as straight men fearing they are actually gay, and sometimes defined simply as being afraid of homosexuals.. “phobia” meaning “fear.”

Feeling grossed out or revolted is not the same thing as feeling fear. I see an image of two men kissing or doing other things, and I feel unpleasant. I do not feel fearful. I feel unpleasant simply because I am straight.

Many many straight guys can’t help feeling that gay guys are mixed up, out of order, doing it wrong, etc. I know it is highly politically correct to even admit this, but it is true.

If we feel this way, does that make us bigots and homophobes? No, it simply means we are straight. Regardless of what we may believe about gay rights and all that, regardless of whether or not we have gay friends, this is how most straight men are.

Ladies.. some of you might not understand this.. but I hope you can at least accept what I’ve written as being accurate. And please don’t be so harsh on straight men. Many of us are good guys, and fairly tolerant. We just don’t think or react in some of the same ways you do.

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